unfair…

i read your letter…
then it dawned on me…
to be honest…
it’s almost unfair…
no!
it is unfair…

all this time…
i was looking for someone like you…
when all along…
i had you…
i only needed to look your way…

sometimes…
the love of your life…
turns out to be the one who never left…

the one who loves you…
constantly…
unquestioningly…
still…

– zeejester 01092018 eight to midnight

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us?

it was a “two old friends meet again” moment…
he smiled…
she smiled…
the heart remembers…
maybe now?
no…
no words were needed…
they sat in silence for sometime…
a comfortable silence…
they had their chance…
but like most stories…
they only had the courage to admit how they felt…
when it was too late…

letting go of something that never began…

– zeejester 11292017 twenty six to twelve

tinta…

Natuyo na…
Natuyo na ang tinta na kay tagal ginamit para iparating ang sigaw ng pusong kay tagal na inasam ang kaligayahan…

Sa muling paghawak ng pluma at paglatag ng papel, aking sinubukang lumikha…
Sinubukang halikan ng pluma ang tinta ngunit hindi ito tumugon…
Muli itong sumubok ngunit hindi ito kumapit…

Wala na yata akong malilikha pa gamit ang tintang ito…

At kung kapalit ng aking ligayang nararamdaman ay ang pagkawala ng aking kakayahang lumikha…
Buong puso kong ibubuhos ang tinta…

– zeejester 11162017 twenty three past eight

broken road…

I remember you teling me a song you wish would play on your wedding day…
I said to myself…
Yeah…
I want that too…

You see…
At that time…
I was broken..
And the song spoke to me…
It gave me hope…

And here I am today…
Recalling that moment…

That broken road…
Took its time…
But it led me straight to you…

I want that song to pay on your wedding day…
And mine…
Ours..
If you don’t mind…

God bless that broken road…

– zeejester 09232017 fourteen to one

jump!

You cannot ask someone to jump if you are not willing to jump…
That is simply unacceptable…

So I did…

Was I scared?
Yes.
Did I jump?
Yes.
Was it worth it?
It was awesome!

Even before I saw how high the jump was…
I was already decided that I would jump…
So I did.

From the water, I saw you walk to the spot where you were supposed to jump…
“Jump!” I said.
I froze at the thought of what I’m asking you to do…
You jumped clutching at your life-jacket…
You went under and my instincts went on auto mode…
I swam to where you splashed…
You broke the surface…
And all I could mutter was, “Are you okay?”

“That was awesome!” you exclaimed.

I smiled.
Same fabric.

The night before…
I decided that I would take a leap…
I held you close as I confessed my feelings…
My voice broke as I asked you to take a leap with me…
I felt you tense-up.

Was I scared?
Yes.
I was risking my heart being broken,
And losing the one person who has seen me at my best and my worst and never left…

Was it worth it?
Yes.
Absolutely yes.
Always yes.

Andiyan ka lang pala!
I love you! ❤

– zeejester 08222017 ten to ten

tighter…

Words betray me these days…
They prefer to be with you instead…
So many things that I want to say…
But all I have is a Boyzone song…

I love the way you love me…

I love how it makes me hold my pillow tighter…

– zeejester 07022107 eleven to eleven

inadequate…

Sometimes…
I too question why I set such high standards for myself…
To a point where I end up hurting…
People see it as impractical…
Hypocritical even…

But you see…
For me, that is the only way to live…
And if my struggle to be who I am…
Measures me lacking by this world’s standards…

Then call me inadequate…
But this is me…

– zeejester 06212017 twenty eight past eleven