John Rephan,

You know who you are and what you are capable of doing. But you have grown to fear being greedy. Greed is bad, and we both know that when you are equipped with it you tend to be a different person. I’m proud to say that you have outgrown that.

You are a jester and that’s what you always will be. You wear different masks for different people and you are so good at it. The kuya, the friend, the colleague, the sage, the dancer, the composer, the writer, and many other things. Jack of all trades, master of one. But at the end of the day we both know that only you know the real face behind the mask and I’m proud of you for knowing when to show that face.

The road to redemption is never easy, and there are no shortcuts either. Just take it day by day and listen to the voice within. Don’t rush, it will come and it will be awesome.

As for your heart, well I’m not really sure what to say about that either. But I guess you should complete yourself first, to the point when you are certain that you are ready to find that other half of the equation.

Hang on! Don’t forget that your strength can only bring you so far, rely on the strength that is Eternal.

Lastly, continue loving the way you do. =)

– John Rephan

PS

May just passed and you have been empowered with your experience with the kids. The last time it happened, you were prepared for AWESOMENESS! I think tis time its going to be MORE AWESOME! Keep your eyes open , your heart ready and the line to heaven open.

Natalie (not her name of course),

It seems like it was only yesterday when I first saw you. You were introduced by someone to me and you had this smile and light. You in the very sense emanated love, the way you laugh still echoes in my ears and in my heart. I know your laugh all too well, because we had lots of moments together, happy moments.

All those times we were together, I always knew my place when it came to you. You were after all a princess and I, well I was me. Being your prince never crossed my mind until about a year, two months and two days ago. I told three people about this crazy though, maybe four. And I did pray, a lot, about this. His answer, well, He said nothing. I guess He meant wait. It would be unwise to assume that silence means yes with Him. =)

Now I know how Aladdin felt when he fell in love with Jasmine. The difference here is that I don’t have a magic lamp. Haha! I’m way out of my league right now and I’m still facing lots of loose ends still. While you, everything seems to be falling into place for you. And I’m happy for you.

I  learned that someone already won your heart. He is one blessed guy to have you in his life. I do pray that he treats you well and takes great care of you and make you feel that you are a princess and a goddess. Because that’s what you are. You are a blessing and you are beautiful, inside and out.

If you were going to ask me for my crazy dream right now, I would say that it would be to marry you.

To see you every morning when I wake up.

To buy groceries with you.

To raise beautiful and smart children with you.

To enjoy a good movie on a rainy day.

To cook food together.

To share what happened during the day at work.

To laugh together and cry together of we have to.

But there is someone by your side already, and I’m too afraid to  tell you. That guy better treat you right, because the moment that he doesn’t, I’ll be waiting. Haha!

If movies do come true, then you can be Anna Scott and I can be William Thacker. (Notting Hill)

If fairy tales do come true, then you can be Jasmine and I can be Aladdin.

If God allows it, then you can be my wife and I can be your husband.

I LOVE YOU!

– Jei

Vanessa (or so i think your name is Vanessa),

What exactly happened?

Well it was all me and moments that I just can’t help myself. There we were having photo ops and then I just had to ask,

Me: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

You: I don’t know? A ton?

Me: Its okay I don’t know either, but its enough to break the ice. My name is Jei.

BOOM! And the crowd goes wild. Hahaha!

And then you asked someone to take a photo of you and me, the polar bear guy, you were extremely friendly and I really appreciate your being a good sport.

I wish we had a chance to talk though, I think it would have been awesome.

Hoping all is well,

The Polar Bear Guy

You again,

Couldn’t think of anyone else I made a pinky promise to but you. I’m not even sure if it really happened but I think we made one. What we promised to each other, I don’t recall anymore. I hope I got the chance to keep it, I don’t want to lose my pinky. Hahaha!

I hope all is well with you.

Me again,

Ate O,

La Union! Holy Week 2010! And I got you to thank for it!

The trip to La Union did many things to me. It made me realize a lot of things and helped a lot with the healing process. You already know this! Hahaha!

Let me tell you about my favorite memory at La Union. It wasn’t the surfing, but that was great fun. It was when they all left to change. Just you and me there drinking San Mig Light. Hahaha! Watching the sunset, talking. I realized there and then that I know you but we never really had any heart to heart talks. Not one! Hahaha! But we shared that moment there. It was ours!

I don’t know if you remember what I said to you when we were there lying down and talking. I said, “Alam mo Ate Oyet, this moment right here is a moment na pinapangarap ng lahat ng may crush sa iyo at may crush sa akin to share with us. Cheers!” Hahaha!

It was an awesome moment! Shared by two great friends! And I do consider you as a great one. You were there for me Ate O.

Thank you Ate O, sorry if I caused you pain in any way, and I do love you and care for you. Take care!

-Kuya Jei

Ga,

Yes! You are the last person I kissed. I’m not most guys who just go around flirting with every pretty woman i meet. I have my standards and I have my own set of rules.

Do I remember it? Yes I do! You were crying and I kissed you! I asked why you were crying and you said that it was because you realized that you only allow yourself to be weak when you are with me. I remember it too well.

I was willing to be your shoulder to lean on. I loved you. But instead of leaning on to me, you chose to lean on someone else’s shoulder. And I hated every bit of that fact.

But I came to realize that it was meant to be. Because after that, many people got the chance to lean on this shoulder. I could have kissed them. But I am a gentleman and a man of principle. I would rather suffer than to lead on someone I don’t love.

Hope all is well with you.

– John Rephan

A friend of mine,

I first saw you a loooong time ago. Way back when I was still an isko. It was an ES 11 exam i think, first take to be exact. Hahaha! Saw you, and honestly, you were pretty. And you still are one of the prettiest faces i know. I said there and then, this girl is probably one of the coolest people i’ll know and I would love to have her around. You were so confident, you still are. Then I got to know you better.

You are my friend and i do love you, please know this, but you probably have one of the meanest, and when i say meanest, I mean MEANEST mood swing that I have ever seen. I’m no hater, you are after all my friend and I have learned to accept that part of you. But my first impression wasn’t what I got. We are after all imperfect.

Hoping all is well with you.

Jei

PS

If you can drop that part of you, you would be one of the most amazing women I know.